Thursday, June 5, 2014

Ever been to a lesbian wedding?

No, I've never!!!!!   Easy, easy . . .

Nope. Then here's your chance to get a bird's eye view.

Yes. But were you at ours????

No matter your answer, here's your chance to partake or re-live (for those of you who were there) all the joy that was #EKWED14!!!

Making a long story a bit shorter . . .  (I said "A BIT" people!)

So Erin and I got engaged April of 2013.  It wasn't legal in California yet (or still), but we had our fingers crossed that we'd be destroying the sanctity of marriage ASAP.  I kid, I kid. I have to remember that not all our readers know us yet.  You soon will!  Erin popped the question at the Tower Bridge in Sacramento, California.  Later, Kelly placed Erin's engagement/wedding band in a bowl of popcorn and warned her not to eat it . . . more popcorn posts to come.

Later, we sent out Save The Date Cards

Then, came the Invitations

I will skip the planning aspects and leave that to another time/post.

The day was upon us.  We had asked all of our guests to use the hashtag #ekwed14 so all of our friends/family/fans/gawkers could have chance to be a part of our day, even if absent.  So, if you look on Facebook, Instagram, etc. you may be able to find some gems out there of our special day and time leading up to it.!

A photo montage of our event . . . grab your tissues!

Our photographer, Beth with True Love Photo (and her assistant Sarah) were amazing.  We have over 1300 photos of our day and almost every single one is a keeper.  Luckily for you, they are not all in the above photo slide ;)  You may notice how into our ceremony our guests were.  We think that part of it has to do with having the most amazing people in our lives and part of it was making a ceremony that was our own.  

Erin and I put together most of our ceremony ourselves . . . "put together" as in part original wording + part of other ceremonies we've loved over the years + hints from sites like Offbeat Bride which = An amazing, funny, loving and very true to us ceremony.  One of my only regrets of our wedding plans was that nobody filmed it.  We loved our ceremony, our guests were crying and laughing (a little pee may have also come out of some of them) . . . it was an incredible feeling, the positive energy and love was everywhere!  Anyone who was there, knows what I was talking about.  

Even our DJ Bryan couldn't hold in the laughter! 

I can't be certain but I bet he's thinking, "This is the best ceremony I've ever been a part of"

Our friend Tori was the officiant, which was awesome. So, without further ado, I give you, 
"Our Ceremony" . . . 

Kelly & Erin
Friday April 11, 2014
Westin Sacramento 6:00PM
Love is a wonderful gift. Today is a celebration of that gift. On behalf of Erin and Kelly, I would like to welcome you to the celebration of their union and their love. We are not here to witness something new, but rather to celebrate what already is.

Who supports these brides in their marriage to each other? Children -We Do!  

Let it be known that Erin and Kelly do not enter this commitment alone. Erin brings with her a son, Charlie. Will you please come forward and stand between your Mom and Kelly?  And Kelly brings with her, three children, Ruby, Preston and Sawyer.  (Kelly’s kids come up)

Their children are sweet, caring, loud, loving, funny, snuggle bugs and beyond amazing, each in their own right.

Over time, the six of you have gotten to know each other; sharing meals, playing games, creating inside jokes and just spending quality time together. You have successfully melded into a modern-day family.

Today Charlie, Ruby, Preston and Sawyer, your support to this marriage is clear. Kelly and Erin not only join this family circle as your mom and mom's wife, but as a friend that you can count on and women who love you all of you very much.

Children, please take your seats.

This marriage is the unification not just of two lives, but of two families as well. As Erin and Kelly embrace one another in their love, they also embrace their loved ones who have come together to celebrate with them on this very special day.
To the Parents and Sisters of the Brides, Erin and Kelly would like you to know that they are thankful for the role that you have played in their lives and for your unconditional love and support. You have given them so much encouragement and they appreciate that. On this very special day in their lives, they want you to know that they love you very, very much!
Family and friends, it is also with great joy that Erin and Kelly can share this day with you. They have chosen to honor you: You are their circle of support.  It is your strength and character that will forever enrich their lives. You all have brought one of the most valuable gifts to Erin and Kelly on this occasion, your presence with them at this moment and they thank you!

Let me now share a little love story.  Titled Erin and Kelly.

If you ask Kelly, she will tell you their love story is not unique. A city teenager moves to a small town where rock music and dancing have been banned, and Erin’s  rebellious spirit shakes up the populace and in turn Kelly’s heart.  Oh, wait.  Kelly did say that dancing did take center stage in their courtship.  Up until their first date (that wasn’t really a date) Kelly had seen Erin on her friend’s Facebook page and they joked a bit over a few months.  Later she met Erin in person when their mutual friend brought her along to help Kelly move . . . yes, a Uhaul was involved.  Soooooo, back to the date (that wasn’t really a date), Erin and Kelly went dancing, where Erin observed “the slow roll” that you will all have the pleasure of viewing tonight at the reception.  Kelly is pretty sure that is what sealed the deal for Erin.  For Kelly it was Erin’s sense of humor, gorgeous smile and open heart that made Kelly fall hard.  It didn’t hurt that Erin was, and still is, an amazing mother.  Kelly says there is nothing more incredible, than having a partner who knows how to love and be loved in return.

Of course, there are two sides to every story.

When you ask Erin, she will tell you that she met Kelly through a mutual friend. They bantered on Facebook for quite some time before actually meeting in person. After giving Kelly her number multiple times and NEVER  getting a call or text, Erin finally asked her out when Kelly mentioned she wanted to go dancing. They had a great time!
Erin said they laughed until their faces and stomachs hurt and she knew right away that she was hooked. She was pretty sure her fabulous robot dance skills sealed the deal. 

Erin says that anyone who knows Kelly, is instantly drawn to her. She has an amazing sense of humor, is incredibly intelligent, has an infectious laugh, and her breath always smells like cookies. She admits that it sounds cliché to say that she really did know pretty early on in their relationship that Kelly was the woman she was meant to share her life with. Erin said that Kelly has brought more into her life then she ever could have imagined and each day is better than the one before. She loves Kelly with everything she has  inside of her.

And that is how it all went down.

Later, Erin would propose in front of the Tower Bridge, on bended knee.  And the rest is history.

Erin and Kelly, you have been given the great fortune of falling in love with each other. It is rare for two people to find true love yet it is a pleasure to witness how happy two people can be. Lao Tzu said that “to love someone deeply gives you strength. To be loved by someone deeply gives you courage.”

Marriage is founded on love, trust, respect, support, enjoying each other and having a shared partnership.

 Erin and Kelly, I asked them what they appreciated in each other and why they were convinced they were right for each other. They told me how they are the happiest when they are together, how their love has gotten stronger since the day they met. Kelly appreciates that Erin is the most caring and thoughtful person that she knows.  She absolutely loves how Erin knows just what she needs at any given moment.  Kelly is so glad that Erin is the last person she giggles with at night and is excited that Erin’s concept of personal space has become smaller over time. Erin said she appreciates Kelly's humor and enjoys how much laughter she has brought to her world. Erin appreciates how sensitive and loving Kelly is, as she has never been loved like this before. Lastly, Erin appreciates that Kelly now understands the sense of urgency needed when there is a spider or bug that needs to be killed in order to prevent a panic attack.
Erin and Kelly share many core values, honesty, trust, fidelity . . . popcorn. . . an appreciation of early 90’s hip hop . . . and much more.
When I asked them what being married meant to them, they described it as a lifelong commitment to love, support and have fun with each other. To love and accept each other when times are good and bad. To feel and share in each other’s happiness and pain and to live everyday with their best friend and love every minute of it. Their love is strong, and this marriage is a declaration of their intention to spend of their lives together.

Erin and Kelly, I will now ask you to share your vows--
Erin, do you take Kelly to be your wife, your partner in life and your one true love?
Will you cherish your friendship and love her today, tomorrow, and forever?  Trust and honor her, laugh and cry with her?
Will you love her faithfully, through the best and the worst, through the difficult and the easy?
Will you always be there?

Erin: I Will!

Kelly, do you take Erin to be your wife, your partner in life and your one true love?
Will you cherish your friendship and love her today, tomorrow, and forever?  Trust and honor her, laugh and cry with her?
Will you love her faithfully, through the best and the worst, through the difficult and the easy?
Will you always be there?

Kelly: I Will!

Now that you have confirmed your union in marriage-What Symbol of your marriage do you offer your wife?

May these rings serve as a direct connection to your heart, the perfect spot to place a symbol, representing your eternal devotion and commitment.


Erin, in placing your ring on Kelly’s finger, repeat after me:
I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and faithfulness to you--- and to all the world ----that you have chosen me--- to be your wife.
Kelly, in placing your ring on Erin’s finger, repeat after me:
I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and faithfulness to you--- and to all the world ----that you have chosen me--- to be your wife.

You have declared that you will live together in marriage. You have shared your special promises to each other which have been symbolized by the taking of your vows and the exchanging of your rings.
Family and Friends, I do affirm that Erin and Kelly have expressed a strong desire to be joined in marriage.
May you strive all of your lives to meet this commitment with the same love and devotion that you now possess.
For love is the greatest gift you have been given and you have been given it to share.
You are now joined in mutual esteem and devotion, United Forever in Love
By the virtue of the authority vested in me by the State of California.
I now pronounce you legally married!

You may kiss your wife.
It is now my great honor to be the first to present:
Mrs. Erin and Kelly Enders-Tharp

Ceremony Music-

Erin Processional Thousand Years- by Piano Guys

Kelly Processional  Favorite Adventure by K’s Choice

Recessional Friday, I’m in Love by the Cure

The Next Family Connection

The Next Family is a digital magazine for the modern parent. It for gay, straight, single, adoptive, multi-racial, hip, urban parents and everything in between. It is deemed a leading resource for gay parents providing blogs, articles, product reviews and now a calendar section for Los Angeles.
The Next Family represents the next generation of families.

I have blogged for The Next Family, in the past and will try to share several of our 2 mom blogs over there in the future too.  I have blogged under Kelly, Kelly Rummelhart and an alias for subjects like Surrogacy, Divorce, Coming out, Marriage Equality, etc.  I've made a list of several below, in case you're interested in some back story or would just enjoy to read other blog posts I've penned.

Kelly's posts:

Coming Out, etc.:

Marriage Equality/Wedding Stuff:

All of my Surrogacy posts for TNF can be found here:
(Keep going to "Next Page" at bottom left and you'll eventually see them all)

So, who are these "MOMS" you speak of?

The quickest way to introduce us, and then our family is a photo montage I created for Erin for Valentine's Day 2014.  It takes you through our courtship without, and then with our children.

I will do different posts about how we meet, how we told our children we were dating, etc. later. But for now, I give you . . . Us.

Erin just celebrated her 40th Birthday this week and Kelly will be joining her in November.  Erin works full time but has great flexibility within her job, so she is able to be home with the kids as much as possible.  Kelly works part time, which allows her to spend a ton of time with their kids as well.

Erin and Kelly share custody of their children and try to do the best job they can co-parenting. 

Our blog is only about what happens at our house, with two moms, and our experiences.

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Every single day is Pride!

When you are proud of your family, everyday is Pride!

An Introduction . . .

Once upon a time, there was a woman who was a Gestational Surrogate.  She was surrounded by people who didn't understand, so she created a blog.  A blog to show the world (or anyone who actually happened upon it) what it means/meant to be a Surrogate.  To eradicate myths.  To show the truth of her own experience. To hopefully bring others into this amazing journey.

It worked.

She was able to show the public first hand, what the process was.  She was able to help others see that ethical surrogacy is just that, ethical.  She was able to prove that lots of women who chose to be surrogates are SMART, AMAZING, LOVING, ALTRUISTIC and also financially stable, educated and wonderful people (before they were surrogates) who wanted to help couples create or complete their families.

She was able to blog over 7 years about three of her own journeys . . . helping three couples become families by "growing" five embryos . . . two sets of twins and a singleton.  She was also able to to openly share that these families were gay.  Six men, three egg donors, five beautiful children . . . all happy, loving families . . . who just happened to be gay.

And her blog tried to show all this.

Several women have mentioned that her blog was the main reason they applied to be surrogates.  Others say that her blog sealed the deal.  Which lead to more families being created.

It showed her experience, some of the parents' experiences and information about surrogacy in general.  It discussed being an ally and her uterus as an ally as well.  And somewhere along the way, she found that being open and honest about surrogacy lead to being honest and open about herself in other facets of her life.

So now it's time to use the same open and honest approach with her next blog.  The goal is to show people that her family is just like their own . . . it just happens to have two moms.  To eradicate myths.  To show the truth of her own experience. To bring others into this amazing journey . . . NO, not recruit straight moms to become gay moms, although she thinks she'll make a pretty good case based on help with laundry and meals alone ;)

So are you ready to go on an amazing journey that may include opening your heart and mind? Or at the very least spy on two women and their 4 kids? Well, then, let's do this!

An introduction . . .